Friday, November 3, 2017

Bad Mom's Christmas...what?

Ok campers, come closer around the campfire. This is one of those simple lessons Uncle Mike tries to offer—at his own expense—and if you get it it will save you a ton of grief in life.

The Lesson: Sometimes learning isn’t as easy as we would like…especially when we do it by looking in a mirror. 

This morning, while reading a movie review about a silly comedy, The Bad Mom’s Christmas I ran across a movie reviewer whose command of language had me mentally stubbing my toe—or brain, what little there is of it.

The movie reviewer, Katie Walsh, writes for the LA Times and Tribune News Service. She is an approved critic for Bad Tomatoes, a movie reviewing site. I’m sure her mom is proud of that. Immediately, I thought of Toby Keith’s song, The Critic…check it out…

Here’s the quote that stubbed my brain: “The existential plight of the Wine Mom—who seeks relief from the crushing weight of heteronormative capitalist patriarchy at the bottom of a chardonnay bottle—is a real cultural crisis.” (and yes, I get the truth of it)

My first thought was, “What the hell is this sort of drivel doing in a movie review about a two-bit, follow-on (see Bad Moms and Bad Moms 2), comedy that will be on video in about 48 hours?!”

I searched “Katie Walsh, Tribune News Service” and found these other lines from some of her reviews.

“It's not an intimate portrait of the woman, but a celebration of the sex-positive, taboo-breaking image she created for herself” (Marilyn)

“Irritating, faux-edgy, tonally wack, strained, unfunny, and such a colossally tone-deaf misfire” (Suburbicon)

However, here’s what I found; she doesn’t appear to be another frustrated film student who couldn’t make it into the LA cinema circles. If the movie is good she does a positive review; and not just for the “let’s gaze into each other’s eyes and sigh meaningfully” flicks.

What I realized was that when the first quote lit me up I took off running with it. I was going to send her an email noting the silliness of it, but slowed down when I read some of her other work. I don’t think enough of us do the slowing down and doing a little research nowadays. We don’t believe we have time in life to do that…or, it’s easier not to challenge our initial beliefs.

We take the initial reaction and turn it into a life-lens through which we see everything (politics, relationships, work and…mmm…politics)

As I reread some of the quotes her beautiful, over-the-top use of language offered a comical “are you serious?!” experience, and we all need a laugh in these troubled times.

 My final thought was what philosophers have told us for millennia: There is a lesson in all life experiences if we’ll simply look for it. Unfortunately, or fortunately, the mirror is often where we need to look.

At least that's my opinion as a totally wack, taboo-breaking, heteronormative capitalist patriarch.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Why It's a Good Thing Trump Won

Stick with me on this 'cause it's kind of counterintuitive.

One of my best friends is a stunningly smart and beautiful woman. She's the type of person who, when she walks into a room, people gravitate to her simply to hear what she has to say.

However, she does "incredulous" better than any human being I've ever been around. You know what I mean by "incredulous," it's a reaction of incredible surprise and disbelief. Imagine hands in the air, eyes and mouth wide open; the physical manifestation of OMG!!! Imagine that reaction combined with a look and body language that says, "You're an idiot and I can't believe that came out of your mouth.

Which is why I fire off every ridiculous thing I can say or do when I'm around her...just to watch world-class incredulous.

My friend was so incredulous about  Trump winning last Tuesday night that she did everything but throw a wine bottle at the television, and dig a hole in her back yard and cover herself up.

Got it?

Anyway, here's why I truly believe the future--at least in the short-term--isn't going to be as bad as my friend, her friends, and millions of Americans believe:

First, the Panthers lost the Super Bowl.
Second, the Tar Heels lost the National Championship.
Third, the Tar Heels lost to Duke in football by one point.
Finally...mmm...Donald Trump is the next president of the United States...of America.

My logic is that all the bad luck in the universe has been used up for now. For the next reasonable period of time nothing really bad will happen because the universe has to build up it's supply of bad luck.

So, start thinking blue skies, children laughing, puppies and kittens rolling around, good fortune for everyone!

Peace. Out.